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I know it’s not politically correct these days to have strong negative opinions , let alone express them in public.  But I’m biting the bullet! I don’t believe big is beautiful and you’re about to find out why. Now before you get all upset because I’m being offensive to big people you should hear me out. I am currently overweight but this isn’t about self loathing or being harshly judgemental just for the sake of it. I also want to make it perfectly clear that I don’t advocate being rude and offensive to big people either. That most definitely is not ok.  I think general acceptance of something can be just as detrimental as a general intolerance of something. If you have a well thought out argument you can back up, I don’t mind a good debate!

I believe we all make quick judgements about people based on what they look like.  If it’s a positive thing, no one seems to have a problem with it. But if it’s a negative thing, LOOK OUT! Tolerating everyone and everything is NOT a good thing in my opinion.  I rarely sit on the fence on serious issues and I think obesity is a very serious issue. You may not be able to ‘judge a book by it’s cover’ but you might get a general gist.

When you see or meet someone for the very first time, you quickly make a decision about them. You know pretty quickly whether you like them or not based on what they look like, their behaviour and what they say. The fact is your decision based on what they look like is almost instant. What they say and do, on the other hand takes some more time to figure out.



When I look at a big person male or female, it doesn’t really matter. It reinforces the image of how I don’t want to look. We are visual creatures. And any which way you look at it, if I see a woman with midriff bulge hanging out as she’s wolfing down a Big Mac, I’m not going to find it attractive. I’ve wolfed down a Big Mac (though I always made sure my midriff bulge was not out for the world to see) and it’s not a proud moment when I’m bigger than I should be. 

It’s not what I want to be perceived as. I don’t want to be seen as the big person eating crap when very obviously I can do without those extra calories.  

The facts are simple really. If you don’t overeat you don’t get overweight. You’re overeating if you’re not doing enough activity to use up all the calories you’re eating. I believe most people know this. If I’m overweight it’s because I have overeaten and/or under exercising. I see a big person, and that tells me that’s what they’re doing too. I don’t want to be the person who can’t eat ‘normally’ and exercise ‘enough’. I know this is an oversimplification of things when you’re trying to lose weight.  It is more than calories in and calories out, but that is the basic gist of it.




I know this is a generalisation, but some big people don’t dress attractively, including me. Think Homer in his mu mu! I did write a post earlier this year about not waiting to lose weight before buying new clothes. Read about it here. The truth is, if you’re not feeling flash about your body, you tend to cover it up in shapeless baggy daggy clothes. Or worse, if you’re in denial, some people wear clothes far too small for their size and look absolutely ridiculous. You know those news stories you see on TV about rising obesity, diabetes, heart disease rates and they hone in on overweight people walking around somewhere in public?  Well they’re real people! You see the too tight ski pants with the midriff bulge hanging over the top!

I know I know, I can hear you say if they’re happy with what they’ve got on that should be all that matters. It’s their body they can wear what they want! I disagree. We don’t live in isolation, mentally or physically. We have certain standards.  If you can tell me YOU wouldn’t mind being one of those people on TV with a close up of your arse AND identifying your face, then I’ll eat my hat! We all crave love, attention and especially acceptance.  There is nothing wrong in not wanting to see a large man or woman in a very tight pants and a midriff exposing top or their arse crack hanging out! 

And before we get into ‘beauty comes in all sizes’ I’m going to stop you right there. Who ever uses that argument needs to be able to say, “I wouldn’t mind looking like that”. I can’t say that when I see big people, CAN YOU? And  besides you can think big is beautiful but it won’t protect you from all the health risks of obesity!


Very big people cannot move fast or gracefully. Right or wrong I like people who move fast, are efficient, get things done and are graceful whilst doing it. When I’m overweight I can barely keep my legs crossed whilst sitting in a chair! I huff and puff up the stairs or when walking with a thinner person and trying to keep up with them. When I see a big person struggling because of their weight, I just don’t like it. It reinforces my experience and how I need to change it.


When I had lost all my excess weight I could walk down the corridors at work and feel like I was almost gliding along. At my heaviest I can feel the difference. How can I not? How can losing 30 kilos not make a difference to how you move your body? I don’t want to waddle when I walk.  And before you say you can be big and healthy, you should read this article. “Fat but fit counts for nothing!”




Obesity is a huge problem for society. It continues to take a toll on the health care system, many of you just may not be aware of the extent of this. I don’t want to be a statistic now or in the future. I don’t want to be a burden to the health care system and society because of my poor lifestyle choices. I don’t want it for myself and I don’t like seeing it in others. We really need to cut through all the crap, self-esteem issues, body shaming blah blah blah etc. Acceptance and tolerance of obesity doesn’t make it go away.  We should be advocating health and if that hurts people’s feelings well too bad. The cost is too great to everyone to just worry about not offending people. Obesity affects more than just the person who is obese!


Losing weight is not easy, but neither is dying. Everyone needs to get their heads out of the sand and really look at all their choices. Don’t be an enabler either.  If you have obese family and friends you should be advocating healthy choices and choosing them yourself too.  This is not fat shaming or being rude and offensive. What if they were doing drugs? Would you be thinking it’s their body they can do what they like?  Being obese is not good for your health, or society.  Are you part of the solution or part of the problem?








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  1. I know bigger people that have run half marathons so I would argue against the fat but fit means nothing. It means a lot more than if they were sitting on their ass instead of running their asses off! I also think it’s weird that you’re admitting to not liking overweight people while admitting you are overweight yourself? Seems like a strange thing to judge people that are having the same struggle you are currently dealing with. I agree we should all be encouraging healthy choices but can’t that be done without being judgemental and rude?

    1. Thanks for commenting, I appreciate the feedback

      I definitely don’t intend on being rude to anyone, so I apologise if it has come across like that. I did make it clear in the post, I am definitely against that.

      The article I referenced suggests obesity is a risk factor that cant be minimised, whether you can do a half marathon or not. Obesity is the health risk, there is no getting around it.

      I can see how the fact I’m overweight at the moment and saying these things might seem weird but they were my honest opinions. And we also shouldn’t judge that all overweight people face the same challenges. Funnily enough not everyone actually cares enough to improve their own health and that was a little part of my point.

  2. I’m sure overweight people are facing many different situations that are causing their issues. Which is why we shouldn’t judge them for being overweight as we have no idea what kind of challenges they are facing. Saying you don’t like someone for being overweight sounds like a harsh judgement to me.

    1. Thanks for commenting Melanie. It does seem like a harsh judgement but the cost (not just financial) of obesity is extreme. Unfortunately those costs aren’t as visible to society as a whole. We’d tell people to quit smoking for their health but we’re not comfortable in offering support and help to people to lose weight. We turn a blind eye and just feel sorry for them. That doesn’t really help anyone.

  3. Totally agree with everything you said in this article. I’m not the size that I want to be right now but am making great strides to creating a healthy lifestyle for me and my family. It’s not okay that society just says it’s “okay” to be obese. I admire those that make an honest effort to be healthy (no matter what size they are).

    1. Thanks for commenting Rebekka. I too, am always striving for good health for me and my family despite challenges.

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