MOTHER KILLED MY SELF ESTEEM!

A Mother can solely be responsible for the non-existent  self-esteem of girls, self harm and the general moral decay of society! Over the top? Maybe a little, but I hate it how magazines and the media in general seem to be blamed for these things and no-one appears to challenge this view at all. We believe it to be true because yet again, there’s some gorgeous, air brushed beauty on the cover of a magazine apparently causing us to question our life’s purpose on this planet! Arghhh! Please!! In my case at least my mother was more responsible for being harmful to my self-esteem and self-image than any glossy ‘Dolly’ magazine (loved those by the way)! My mother DID kill my self-esteem.

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I would disagree with this opinion whole heartedly for a few various reasons.  Firstly because it’s just plain bull shit to think a picture of a pretty skinny girl is going to make me top myself, cut myself or make me  hide under my doona forever. Who comes up with this stuff?

 

 

DOES YOUR MOTHER MAKE YOU FEEL LIKE SHIT?

 

 

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It just makes women/girls sound like immature, vain and just plain stupid beings. If you don’t know that almost everything is edited to enhance it’s look then you obviously have not come out from under the doona in a very long time!

Here’s a recent issue of Instyle featuring Jennifer Hawkins on the cover.   If I looked like this growing up my mother would have quite clearly stated my lips were too thin, and my boobs too small not to mention I had the fashion sense of a prostitute!

Don’t get me wrong here. That’s not what I’m saying about Jennifer Hawkins at all but that would have been the opinion my mother would have given her! Oh and just to be clear, my mother doesn’t wait to be asked her opinion and also don’t be mistaken that you have to be her daughter to have the pleasure of hearing her opinion either.

mother killed my self esteem

 

THE TRUTH ABOUT SELF-ESTEEM

 

The truth is you first learn about yourself by what your family tells you. I looked nothing like Jennifer (then or now) but my self-esteem was shot to pieces by my mother. My self-esteem was not shot by magazines and the media! For starters, at 10 I was told I was getting fat just chewing chewing gum, all that sugar you know! As I hit puberty I did put on a few kilos. I’m sure it had nothing to do with growing up in a household where no one knew anything about portion control! And if you didn’t eat everything on your plate it was frowned upon big time!

How did your mother make you feel growing up? Help or hinder self-esteem compared to magazines and the media?

I’d love to know your thoughts on this. Feel free to spill your guts here. Your mother’s never going to read this. She’s too busy judging the size of your arse as you leave the room!!

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    I'm a self confessed m&m addict (as you've probably already figured out!) and all round chocoholic. I love food, love to eat and generally blame my mother for all my weight issues! Read the post about my mother here! I have a day job, a husband, 2 kids, 4 step kids…
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5 comments

  1. Really powerful post and very thought-provoking. The potential damage that a parent can cause to children of either gender regarding self-esteem issues is huge, and very rarely touched on. Thank you for putting words out there on a topic that is currently getting a lot of (different) attention.

  2. I’m very sorry to hear that. Parents can have so much influence on our self esteem and body issues without realising the effect they are having. Thank you for sharing.

    1. Thanks for that Keeley. I definitely believe I have become a better mother because of it, making sure my daughter has no body issues (at least not from me)!

  3. Great article Dee, well done for writing what no one else dares to. I completely agree with you…. and funnily, I have also worked out that my mother has been very harsh to me about my looks, because of her low self-esteem brought on by her mother…. and my grandmother’s mother was hard on her appearance. Well, I am breaking this chain of negativity with my daughter. The change is with me. Thanks again, Amity

    1. Thanks for commenting Amity. We can only learn from our experiences and be better mothers!

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